


Edge of Desire

by ossaw



Category: The Wilds (TV 2020)
Genre: AU, Endgame Shelby Goodkind/Toni Shalifoe, F/F, Fluff, Shelby Goodkind - Freeform, Shoni - Freeform, The Unsinkable Eight (The Wilds), Toni Shalifoe - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-15 16:41:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29686899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ossaw/pseuds/ossaw
Summary: Don’t say a word just come over and lie here with me.Cause I’m just about to set fire to everything I see.I want you so bad I’ll go back on the things I believe.There I just said it, I’m scared you’ll forget about me"I never want to be away from you again. I hate it. I hate not being able to be with you properly, sometimes I get scared that you’ll forget about me…” Toni admitted"
Relationships: Shelby Goodkind & Toni Shalifoe, Shelby Goodkind/Toni Shalifoe
Kudos: 62





	Edge of Desire

**Author's Note:**

> A lil onshot based on Edge of Desire by John Mayer. I've been listening to it all week, and couldn't get out of my head how well it fit Toni and Shelby. Hope you enjoy :)

Don’t say a word just come over and lie here with me.  
Cause I’m just about to set fire to everything I see.  
I want you so bad I’ll go back on the things I believe.  
There I just said it, I’m scared you’ll forget about me

Toni was tired. Her mind was so tired. No matter how hard she begged her brain to turn off, even for just a moment to finally be able to have some rest, but instead her mind continued to spin with thoughts of Shelby and what she might be doing that very moment. It was hard for her to accept the fact that she may be falling in love and the thought alone terrified her. Toni knew that she was a difficult person to deal with from time to time, people had never failed to mention that. But for some strange and unknown reason, Shelby refused to act or do any of the things that Toni had been used to all of her life. And it scared her to think that maybe Shelby felt the same too.  
She squeezed her eyes tighter, forcing her body to catch up with her desire for sleep. Toni could feel her eyes beginning to water from frustration and there was a lump growing in her throat as she thought about yet another sleepless night when she heard the light buzzing of her phone on the nightstand beside her.  
Welcoming the distraction from her hopeless attempts to fall asleep, Toni reached out with squinted eyes, to read the notification that had popped up on her phone.

2.32am:  
Hey

Toni smiled. She could feel her heart gradually beating faster and harder in her chest. It’s as if Shelby knew that she was feeling nervous and she knew that all Toni needed was a simple ‘hey’ to calm her down and excite her all at the same time. 

2.33am:  
I miss you…

Bringing her phone to her chest, Toni breathed deeply to calm herself down and collect her thoughts before she responded. There was nothing that Toni wanted more than to push that damn call button and hear Shelby’s voice, her annoyingly irresistible Texan tone telling her that everything was going to be okay, and that she was safe to fall asleep. She gazed to her right to see to check if Martha was still asleep, her finger hovering over the call button as she decided what to do. But Toni knew that if she were to call Shelby now, there would be groans of frustration and an incredibly irritated best friend to deal with in the morning. Before Toni could decide what to do, she felt her phone vibrate for a third time in her hands and her eyes focussed on the cracked screen of her second-hand phone

3.36am:  
Come over?

Toni’s heart was fighting in her chest that she could hear the steady thrum in her ears as she read and re-read Shelby’s text to make sure she hadn’t made it up. It had been almost a week since she had seen her, and the thought of having Shelby right in-front of her again fuelled her tired body to shoot out of bed, and slowly but frantically, search for her Vans and Mrs.Blackburn’s car keys. 

Managing to slip out of the small house undetected, Toni quickly typed out a message to let Shelby know that she was on her way. Silently chuckling to herself as she unlocked the car door and turning on the engine, Toni shook her head as she thought about what Martha would say if she knew that Toni was willingly leaving her warm bed in the middle of a cold February night just to see Shelby again. 

The drive wasn’t that long, but it felt like a lifetime as Toni tried to suppress the anxiety of having to sneak into the Goodkind house, knowing how dangerous it would be for the both of them if they were to be caught. But Toni decided she didn’t care. A week of not seeing Shelby was hell, and if there was a chance to see her again, then Toni was going to take it.  
Pulling up next to small park that Shelby’s window overlooked, Toni wiped her clammy hands on her ripped jeans and stepped out the car. Pulling her hood over head, she walked up the rugged park and climbed over the fence that separated the small playground and the Goodkind’s garden. Falling onto the plush green grass with a small thud, Toni stretched out her legs and looked around to see if she had woken anyone up. The only light that was on in the house was coming from Shelby’s bedroom, and after a few seconds Toni saw the top of Shelby’s blonde hair appear from the bottom, pulling up her window slowly, waving at Toni once she was done. 

Toni walked over to the bottom of the old tree and looked up to see a smiling Shelby smiling down on her from her bedroom window. Using the wooden bench as a starting point, Toni hoisted herself up and began to slowly climb the tree until she reached the small ledge underneath Shelby’s window. 

“Hey princess,” Toni panted out, having used up her final stores of energy on the small climb up to the girl in-front of her. 

Shelby rolled her eyes as she stretched out her hand to help Toni to climb into her bedroom through the window. 

“You know I hate that nickname” Shelby whispered back with an amused look on her face as Toni clumsily landed in her room with flushed cheeks from the cold night air.  
“Oh…you’re right, sorry. I meant Queen. Or did that bitch from Oregon steal your title?” Toni replied, smirking. 

“No. I won, although I wish I hadn’t. I wish this last week hadn’t happened at all” Shelby told her, her smile almost falling from her face.

“Ah shit, Shelby. I was just trying to mess with you. I didn’t mean anything by that. You know that right?” Toni says, reaching out to hold Shelby’s hands. 

“I know Toni, I’m just tired is all. It’s so damn hard pretendin’ to be someone I’m not just to impress my parents and all their silly little friends” Shelby sighed out, accepting Toni’s hands and squeezing them tightly. 

Toni nodded, wishing she could take away all the stress and anxiety she could tell Shelby harboured deep inside her. “Well, now that you’re back and we’re together again…you don’t have to be anything but Shelby for me,” she whispered pulling Shelby in and hugging her tightly. 

They stood there for a few minutes enjoying the peace that came with holding each other close again after being forced apart so that Shelby could compete in another pageant, smiling and waving and acting the way her parents that her parents had set her up to act all her life. 

Toni breathed in the smell of Shelby that engulfed her, the coconut and vanilla shampoo that she had grown to love so much, the smell that had come to feel like home. She could’t help but smile as Shelby slowly dragged her hands up Toni’s body, resting on the sides of her neck. Toni looked into Shelby’s tired eyes, feeling nothing but love and acceptance. Toni closed her eyes in anticipation for what she knew was coming, their lips finally brushing together after what had felt like a lifetime. Kissing Shelby again felt like heaven. Toni squeezed her hips tightly to remind herself that this wasn’t a dream and that Shelby was there, kissing her and holding her. 

After a few moments, Shelby pulled back and smiled so wide, the smile that lit her eyes and caused the sides of her face to crinkle ever so slightly, that Toni knew this was her Shelby and not the Shelby that was so often forced out of her. 

“I missed you so dang much,” Shelby told her, pulling her down towards the bed so they could lay together and finally relax and forget about the stress from the past few days. 

“I missed you too Shelby. You have no idea how much. It was like…I couldn’t even do things properly… because you weren’t here…like close by,” Toni admitted, feeling embarrassed about how much she was clueing Shelby in to the feelings she had for her. 

Shelby’s cheeks flushed pink as she smiled at Toni’s admission, wanting to tell Toni so badly that she loved her and she felt that way too, but afraid that it might scare her off. 

Toni adored the look on Shelby’s face, bashful and shy at the words that she had shared with her. Something in Toni’s gut told her to continue, to tell Shelby how she was feeling, to reassure her that the Shelby she knew and the Shelby she loved, the real one, was amazing and beautiful and talented without having to pretend to be someone else. 

“I mean it Shelbs” Toni continued. “It’s like…now that I know what it’s like to hold your hand…or to… you know…kiss you and sleep next to you…I don’t want to do anything else but that” she rushed out. 

Shelby smiled and reached brought her hand up to cup the side of Toni’s face, stroking her cheek with her thumb as she listened to Toni talk.

“I was thinking a lot while you were away. Like about us. About how much you mean to me, I -“ 

“You mean a lot to me too Toni,” Shelby interrupted, not wanting Toni to think that she was alone in feeling this. 

Toni smiled, nuzzling her face against Shelby’s palm. 

“I never want to be away from you again. I hate it. I hate not being able to be with you properly, sometimes I get scared that you’ll forget about me…” Toni admitted. 

Shelby’s stomach twisted, knowing that most of Toni’s feelings were her fault. The fact that they couldn’t walk around town hand in hand. That Shelby had to leave every other week or so for a pageant, to pretend to be someone else in front of her parents, and flirt with boys to appease her ‘friends’. Shelby knew it was killing Toni, because it was killing her too. 

“I’m sorry Toni,” Shelby whispered. “I know how it must make you feel…bein’ with someone who can’t really be with you” 

Toni closed her eyes, feeling guilty that her emotions had taken over and she had upset Shelby in the process. 

“Nah Shelby, I know you’re trying. Don’t be sorry” Toni responded, kissing Shelby’s forehead. “I’m sorry I got emotional…I just really missed you and I’m tired…I haven’t really slept much”. 

Shelby blinked away the tears that had threatened to spill from her eyes and she pulled Toni closer to herself. 

“You know…” Shelby spoke again after a few moments of silence. “This won’t be for long. We’ll be headin’ over to college in a few months and California is much less uptight than over here” 

Toni smiled as she let her mind wonder about the possibilities of holding Shelby’s hand in public, and kissing her cheek at the movies without checking over her shoulder first. 

“We’ll be be a normal couple” Shelby continued confidently. “And after a few months I’ll tell my daddy…and to hell with him…and to hell with the pageants if it means I can’t have you!” 

Toni kissed Shelby’s lips, enjoying how soft and perfectly they fit in between hers. 

Shelby broke the kiss to continue, apparently excited to dream out loud about their life together once they left the small town that was trying so hard to put a stop to the feelings they had grown for one another. 

“I’ll take you out on dates to the beach” Shelby informed her. “I’ll buy you cute little cuddly bears and all those things you find cheesy and goofy” 

Toni couldn’t help but smile as she listened to Shelby go on and on about her plans for the next year.

“I mean it Toni. I’m gonna kiss that cute little mouth of yours every chance that I get” Shelby told her, giggling softly. “I’ll even recruit Martha…or Fatin…or Dot to help me plan little surprises for you, so you know just how special you are to me” Shelby choked out, with such a sense of urgency that Toni was taken by surprise. 

Shelby paused, kissed Toni’s lips then continued. 

“And Toni…when you feel like you just wanna set fire to anythin’ you can get your hands on…and nothings goin’ your way I’ll be there for you” She promised. 

“All this crap that we’re dealin with now, it’ll all be over. I can hear California callin’ our names Toni. We just gotta wait this out for just a little bit longer, then we’re free” Shelby whispered. 

Shelby wiped a tear that was falling down the side of Toni’s cheeks, feeling bad about making her cry. Shaking her head, she kissed Toni again, trying to show her just how much she meant the things she had said. 

Toni breathed heavily against Shelby’s lips. She knew that everything Shelby had promised her was almost close enough to touch, and that if they had been able to hide away for a year and a half, then a few more months wouldn’t kill them. 

Opening her eyes, she looked at Shelby. At her messy blonde bun that was falling a bit loose from laying down on the bed. She looked at the the green hue of Shelby’s eyes, the flickers of blue and grey that ever so slightly surrounded it. She noticed the remnants of mascara which Shelby had obviously tried to remove before climbing into bed, but not quite managing to get rid of all of it. She looked at Shelby and she knew. 

“I’m in love with you,” Toni told her. Simply and honestly. “I love you Shelby. More than I’ve ever loved anything or anyone in my entire life” she added, making sure Shelby knew fully. 

Shelby smiled, drooped her arm around Toni and buried her face into the crook of her neck, kissing it chastely for a couple of seconds. 

“I love you too, Toni” Shelby whispered, her lips still ghosting against Toni’s neck. 

Shelby angled her face up to look into Toni’s eyes and she told her again

“I’ve been in love with you for a while now” 

And Toni couldn’t help but laugh. Pure happiness radiating throughout her body, overflowing emotions, manifesting themselves in a quiet laugh. 

Toni leaned in to kiss Shelby again. Revelling in the fact that she knows that Toni loves Shelby, and Shelby loves her. And that’s enough to ease her pain, to wait and dream of the better days that are soon on their way.


End file.
